SNL - Jack Handy "Like Thoughts"... :)

Re: SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... :)

"All the world's a stage... For the EVIL GREYS and the NSA and their ALIEN MOONBASE ANTENAE to broadcast ATV. AlienTV for the universe to watch the destruction of MANKIND. It's a really popular show in the universe!!!"
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 6-A :)

"The Jews and the Romans (ITALIANS) never stopped working together... They were just on 'vacation' to wait for America and the next 'Jesus Type Dude'"...

But the secrets out now... /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 10 :)

"There is such thing as SCOTTISH PEOPLE. They called IRISH PEOPLE WITH BOATS and IRISH PEOPLE WHO COULD SWIM" /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Only kidding my scottish cousins. You have to have a "sense of humor about yourself" sometimes...

/ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 11 :)

I'm always fascinated with the Las Vegas, Nevada tourism slogan...

You know the mayor is the lawyer for the guys in the movie "Casino"... It was a TRUE STORY.

A MOB LAWYER is THE MAYOR OF LAS VEGAS. Not "good".

"What's happens in Vegas... Stays in Vegas."

No it's false advertising really.

It should be...

"What's happens in Vegas... Is captured by security cameras and microphones and indexed with your all your personal information and written to optical disks in optical jukeboxes in underground secret facilities for the NSA/FBI/Italian Mafia Operations. You know alot people of Italian heritage are in the telecommunications industry, NSA and the FBI and of course THE ITALIAN MAFIA. Nevada like New Jersey isn't really a "state". It's a Military Industrail Complex super secret bunker land and New Jersey is the Illuminati/Masonic State."

It's scarey scarey stuff my friends.



TheCigMan
 
Re: SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 11 :)

a hotel burning, only means to collect the potential insurance.
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 12 :)

Everyone talks about these couples by their nicknames...

"Vaughaniston... Bradgelina... TomKat... Bennifer... But everyone knows in Hollywood, the hottest couple is really is Jengelina... /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif You don't "really believe they fight over of Brad" do you?. /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif It just might be an excuse for "angry sex" (which I really don't recommend except in 'pre-discussed pre-agreed roleplay') /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif"



TheCigMan
P.S. I'm joking... I don't know anything about her.
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 12-A :)

Ah... We have been "monitoring" Ms. Jolie Pitt's communication with Ms. Pitt Vaughn.

It seems there is a little "hositility" about who gets top billing in the "Hollywood Couple Name"...

"Jengelina"

Ms. Jolie Pitt says "I'm the big movie star... You're just a TV Series Icon. America's Sweetheart really... /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif"

Ms. Pitt Vaughn says "But everyone finds you SO SEX, HOT AND ALLURING... And so do I... /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif"

Ms. Pitt Vaughn says "Maybe it should Angieffer..."

Ms. Jolie Pitt responded "Good. Otherwise... no more spankings for you... /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif"


So based on this "intercepted communication"... They both have radio handset telephones and telephone bases...

We have to change the "Hollywood Couple Name" for Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston to

"Angieffer"



Please accept our apologies Ladies....

TheCigMan
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 12-B :)

Now we have done it...

We exposed one of the "real couples" in Hollywood...

Instead of the "Pretend 50-80s" society that we have here in America...

Now the other "Bi Lipstick Best Friends Forever" Couples want their names to be "made up", made public and famous...

Like Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy...

This is a tough one Ladies to come up with a couple name... /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Pameffer...

Jennela...

Pamenny...

Ah.. That's it...

They will be PAMENNY

Enjoy!


TheCigMan

PLEASE NOTE: This is a joke. I know nothing of Jenny McCarthy, Pamela Anderson Lee, Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie. Its just fun to make fun of our celebrities in jest.
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 12-C :)

It seems Hollywood is opening up...

Everyone is being "more honest" about their private lives, sexual orientation and "true partners"...


We intercepted the following conversation:


Ms. Ellen Barkin "Those bitches Anderson and McCarthy are now the hottest thing in Hollywood... I hate them! Never mind Jengelina!"

Ms. Susan Sarandon "I know... We 'were the hottest'... Now.. No one cares..."

Ms. Ellen Barkin "Maybe we should go public..."

Ms. Sussan Sarandon "You think?.. But I have kids and they are in little league and I'm in the PTA"

Ms. Ellen Barkin "How is Principal Carol Willis? She was great in our threesome!"

Ms. Susan Sarandon "Yes. But she bugs me all the time for more hot threesomes..."

Ms. Susan Sarandon "And she only wants celebrities... I can't introduce to 'celebrity bi lipstick cabals'... I told her it was a one time thing. A special thank you for falsing my kids transcripts in school... So they can get into Havard, Princeton or Yale."

Ms. Ellen Barkin "But I loved the way her butt sounded when I spanked it..."

Ms. Susan Sarandon "I know... I loved it too."


So Ladies? You feel left out of the "Hollywood Coming Out Party!"???!!!

We have the "perfect" celebrity "bi lipstick" "couple" name for you two...


BARKSARA!


It's going to be the 'most famous one'!!!

TheCigMan

PLEASE NOTE: No conversation was intercepted. It's a joke. A running gag about 'bi lipstick celebrity couples' in Hollywood. They don't 'really exist'. It's just a straight guy 'fantasy imagination' thing. It's a parody. Parody is protected free speech under the 1st Amendment.
We know nothing of Ms. Sarandon's and Ms. Barkin sex lives or true nature of their relationship. But we hear Ms. Barkin is invited over to parties at Ms. Sarandon's home - quite often.
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 12-D :)

We have heard a "trend" of coming out parties is "happening" in Hollywood...

You know "real couples" and "real sexual orientation"...

We had Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie... Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson... Ellen Barkin and Susan Sarandon...

And now we have "intercepted" another couple considering "coming out..."


We can even PICK UP SATELLITE PHONES... It's kind of "silly" we hear "EVERYTHING" spoken or on "phones" /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif


Ms Michelle Pfieffer "What do we do?... Come out now? or wait to be "outed"..."

Ms. Sharon Stone "Well... I've got lots of skeletons... I shouldn't have done those things in NYC..."

Ms. Michelle Pfielffer "What Thing?..."

Ms. Sharon Stone "Clubs... if you know what I mean..."

Ms. Michelle Pfieffer "Oh... That is a problem... I'll get lumped in with you..."

Ms. Sharon Stone "Don't worry... Everybody went to those clubs in the 80's and 90's"

Ms. Michelle Pfieffer "I told you not to "hang out in NYC" but you never listen to me"

Ms. Sharon Stone "I'm sorry... Forgive me?...."

Ms. Michelle Pfieffer "I will... I you trade 5 average housewives from your private cabal for one celebrity in my private cabal"

Ms. Sharon Stone "Ok... But I really like those "housewife types" they are so WILD! People have no idea! about them..."



So ladies... We have to give you and name like everyone else...

Let's see...

MICHARO? No...

MICHARON? No...

SHARONELLE? Mmmm...

We like that one...

So ladies.. You "celebrity bi lipstick couple name" is SHARONELLE!!! It's kind of "nice sounding"... /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif



TheCigMan

PLEASE NOTE: It's a joke. Just because the 2 of them live in Northern California. Is purely coincidence and doesn't mean a thing. It's a running gag. We know nothing about their lives or true sexual orientation, relationships and/or behavoir.
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 14

"Women... You can't live with them... And you can live without them... If you have a FEMALE ANDROID..."



TheCigMan
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 15 & 15a

I hear there are "2 new" jokes going around...

15

"Hey LOOK! Matthew McConaughey has his shirt ON!!!..."

15a

"Hey LOOK! Tina Fey isn't showing "cleavage" on 30 Rock!!!..."
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... No. 16

In the state of New Jersey... Well Northern North Jersey (Soprano Land), everyone knows that COP means "Create Oppresive Police" (State)...
 
SNL - Jack Handy \"Like Thoughts\"... :)

"Reality?... What a concept

Except in Bayonne... And Jersey City... And Wall Street... And Hollywood... And New York Media... And Madison Avenue... And New York News Stations... Local News and National News... ITS ALL FAKE!!!"
 
Back
Top