2567 CE and its dull dull dull

dave_kinky

dave_kinky

Temporal Navigator
Hello it is I, in that, it is also me! I have now moved to the year 2567 CE with my mottley crew of fellow time travellers and it is all very peaceful and dull here, floating about in gigantic anti-gravity crystals with not a drop of lunarium juice to quell our raging thirsts. There is some good news however, although I know that tends not to be so popular with all of you primitive simians back in the 21st century. Yes, indeedy the internet is absolutely bloody gigantic to the point where you only have to think about porn and its being transmitted straight across your bionic eyes and into your pleasure zones. Obviously for the proletariat masses reading this that is the most important thing you're concerned about yes? Secondly there have been nuclear wars etc. etc. but that was all in the past and now we all just love each other, man. I am aware that nuclear wars are as important to some of the primitives on here as porn is to others, and lets face it both involve phallic objects and large explosions, so whatever floats your 21st century boat.
Me and my crew are fully prepared to answer your questions from our floating porn/nuke palaces of the future, so fire away, there isn't much else for us to do. Frankly we're bored.
Warrior361 you are not allowed to ask me the same questions you always ask me, however.

The Dave
 
Oh Great and Wise Kinky One:

Welcome back. And I mean that in a flattering, yet humbling fashion. Right off into my first question: So let me get this straight: With the internet becoming overly bloated in your time, you are telling me all you have to do is think about having sex with a Britney Spears infobot, and BOOM, it is happening right there in your head??? Wow... wish you could come pick me up and take me for a ride in the Zodiac.

I'm sure I will have more questions for thy greatness. So write back soon.

RMT
 
I don't understand you Dave why can't i ask you this question? heheh hahahah....what is the reason of me not asking you a question.


i wonder is Dave afraid of me??
 
Yes, indeedy the internet is absolutely bloody gigantic to the point where you only have to think about porn and its being transmitted straight across your bionic eyes and into your pleasure zones. Obviously for the proletariat masses reading this that is the most important thing you're concerned about yes?
Click to expand...


Yes, once every 9 seconds......which is a long wait. 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1......oh damn, my simian brain has to think about sex again.

The internet is for sex ? Damnit man, I'd have thought that by 2567 scientists would have discovered that the entire universe is for sex.
 
I love the 'Zodiac' name.

Reminds me of a certain Gerry Anderson show I'm young enough to remember watching on TV as kid.....Steve Zodiac and 'Venus'......Fireball XL5.

I still recall the great intro song after almost 50 years....(I I was born in 1957 )


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASvBTqfTrzA


( A little known piece of useless info. The theme song by Don Spencer reached #32 in the UK Charts in 1963. Don Spencer went on to be a presenter on Play School....which I also remember )
 
Listen primitives, I am not sure why all of my posts are treated by you as some sort of joke, I am the one who was forespoken of (not sure forespoken is a word used in the 21st century but we love it in the future) - the messiah** of time travel, 100% pure real time traveller (ok well apart from the bionic bits but you try zipping around the millennia and being a sexual dynamo at the same time *yes the irony of being a sexual dynamo but also posting on this forum isn't lost on me, for all you 14 year old boys pretending you're a space soldier from the year 2209 out there.)
So, fire away with the questions, I'd like to get this up to at least a 7 pager if possible, I am fully prepared to
1. contradict myself
2. avoid any form of fiendish 'test' you come up with to discern the veracity of my claims (NB I travel naked, my technochronial device is damaged and cannot perform that task, why don't I just google the answer then and so on)
3. stick doggedly to the frankly cul-de-sac like hole of a wall i've backed myself into on any point you find contentious

**annointed one, it was great, I recommend a full annointing bath, cavepeople of the 21st century

as ever, your 100% real time travel pin-up
THE DAVE

PS Warrior381 you are a legend. A self-obsessed dull legend, but a legend nevertheless, in time travel circles. If you ever get the chance***, hop to 2132 CE where there is a statue in your honour made entirely of corroding LVDs of the Solarweb sci-fi drama 'The Combostulous Adventurisisng Of Fizzwang O'Leary'.
*** You will never time travel, a career in retail followed by eventual death beckons
 
Anointed Kinkster:

You deserve the No-bell Peace Prize for all you have done to foster intergalactic sexual friendliness. I'm a gonna nominate you for dis award thingy.

RMT
 
Thanks tiny caveperson of the 21st Century, however stay tuned for more mindblowing revelations from The Future (or as its commonly known "THE FUTURE"!)
 
PS Warrior381 you are a legend. A self-obsessed dull legend, but a legend nevertheless, in time travel circles. If you ever get the chance***, hop to 2132 CE where there is a statue in your honour made entirely of corroding LVDs of the Solarweb sci-fi drama 'The Combostulous Adventurisisng Of Fizzwang O'Leary'.
*** You will never time travel, a career in retail followed by eventual death beckons


now stop that dave you are scaring me about me being a legend I feel hurt and depression by Dave word..I just trying to be nice to you Dave...I like your writing and feel sad..I am sorry for what i did to you so forgive me for asking too many questions..peace brother..
 
Warrior, my dear Warrior, how I wish we could frolic naked in the crimson muscle tree woods surrounding my floating home, unashamed of the 5D tattoos glistening on our nude forms as I rear mount you with a Chrono bolt.

You misunderstand me, hombre, I do not want you to be sad or depressed, I mean you no harm, its just that I would rather answer DIFFERENT questions to those you normally pose, which are these:
1. When can you, Warrior381 that is, buy a time machine?
2. Will you, Warrior381, become a time traveller?

Now these seem a tad self-obsessed to me, though your persistence is charming, like a Lizardan reptile puppy wagging it's eight tales at one, shortly before it humps your legs.

So, ask me a NEW and EXCITING question and we will be best of friends, dearest Warrior, like the friendship with no name between Creedo299 and the Zodiac timeship's trash exhaust pipe.

xxxx
 
Hi, I have a question for ya... So if in the future, you are able to beam internet porn into your head at a single thought, what happens to good old fashioned sex... Is that out of style? /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
God's death child, no, of course actual squelchy sex isn't out of fashion! One of the major differences is you can now (NB in THE FUTURE) film yourself, a nubile and open-minded Lizardan wench, an industrial sized tub of Quaxxon lubricant, a roll of juang-film, three bottles of zaag liquor and a small dog-wolf hybrid named Roy engaging in all manner of depravity and beam it into the homes of 5 billion humanoids at the pulse of a neuron. We're all very liberated.
 
God's death child, no, of course actual squelchy sex isn't out of fashion! One of the major differences is you can now (NB in THE FUTURE) film yourself, a nubile and open-minded Lizardan wench, an industrial sized tub of Quaxxon lubricant, a roll of juang-film, three bottles of zaag liquor and a small dog-wolf hybrid named Roy engaging in all manner of depravity and beam it into the homes of 5 billion humanoids at the pulse of a neuron. We're all very liberated.
Click to expand...

I take it that's how you like it?
 
Well its a bit tame for me, I'd probably get Creedo299 involved wearing his 'Time Traveller' outfit, which is essentially a tabard with some silver foil stuck to it, the jar containing the millimetre thick strip of Chronohistorian, another couple of nubile Lizardan women, some well lubricated muscle trees and a burly but compliant insectoid warrior or two. That should kick things off after a quaxxar or two of Lunarium juice and a couple of slices of time cake.

How about you, primitive ape person?
 
Dave Dave my man i know Creeo299 but I bet he is not a time traveler so quit saying he is a pet or a time traveler i don't see it that Creeo299 a time traveler....also i also don't see Dave as a time traveler just speaking..just speaking garage stuff



you need to be on mind pill to help you out...
 
Hmmm.... I like to keep it simple here in the "old" days... As long as it's fun and pleasure-filled, that's good enough for me. I take it, in your day, our primative idea of intercourse is no longer exciting enough for your developed species. Sounds like an exciting enough future to me... :D It's better than all the other doom and gloom "futures" on this site.
 
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