chaos1986
Temporal Novice
So here's what ima do when I'm 42 years, 7 months, 8 days, and 4 hours old. I'm going to buy a carrot factory. With that carrot factory, I will transform it into a laboratory, just like Dexter's. In this lab, I will genetically modify a cow to have thumbs. I will ejaculate into a tube. I will then extract everything but the "thumbicorsious" gene (thumb gene) from my own semen. Filling a needle with the thumbicorsious gene, I must be very careful. Then, I shall penetrate the cow's uterus with said needle, emptying it of thumbicorsious. Then I will extract bull semen and inject it into my own testicles after removing human semen from the sack. As I hump the cow, I will ejaculate bull semen into the cow and the thumbicorsious will mix with it. Months later, the cow will give birth the calves, two cows, actually. One will be named Jefronda, the other named Shenistalk. Jefronda will die... only 1/2 calves survive past 20 days with thumbicorsious in their system. Shenistalk will grow to have more calves and they will all have thumbs. I will then take my laboratory's time machine and go to the year 2500. Humans are still alive, but there will also my millions of cows with thumbs. They have been watching us build for hundreds of years, and now they are already making cities, Mootopolis is the main city, and it is in India, for cows are not eaten there. There are no humans for 100 miles from Mootopolis. I will live there for another 20 years. In the year 2520 cows will rebel from the human society. Other humans will rebel with them, including myself.. for I have created these magnificent creatures. The cow army will grow to the thousands, though they are not modernized... they have Swords and at most AK47's. There will start a war in the August of 2522 between Cociety and Society. Cows and rebelling humans will charge the government with "ancient" weapons and take over the white house, killing Obama (Obama does not age... and he has not given up presidency, he actually rules the world now... "did"). Many cows died in that battle, but most survived. Now cows and rebels are up against Cuba in 2523, September 23. Cubans rush the white house with laser pistols (that's all they could afford...), though the laser pistols were strong enough to take out cows with swords and AK's. Only a handful of cows were left in India, maybe about 2 billion, not a lot (Earth was over populated... there were 25 billion people on Earth. 8 billion Cubans took over Mercury and Mars). Cuban ships landed in India, and cows fought for their lives, as did rebels. I am hiding under ground, 2 miles down in Africa. (This story changes from past to present a lot.. only because I am in my time machine as I tell you this.) those 2 billion cows were killed, but only 3 billion Cubans are left alive. They know there are a few more cows and rebels somewhere, but they cannot find us. Finally, in the year of 2525, Nigerians find us (we were surviving off of the 300 cows we were with, and only 50 were alive by the time Nigerians found us). They killed the rest of the cows and every rebel but me; I had used my time machine to escape. I am back in this year, 2012. I do not have my laboratory nor my time machine because I did not build it yet, I was just dropped off here basically. So, when I am 42, I will remember how to build my time machine and lab and this story will be retold. Yes, cows will have thumbs in the future.. This is no lie.