The Second Coming

dave_kinky

dave_kinky

Temporal Navigator
GREAT GREAT Great news my tiny dribbling primitive homosexual chumz from the 20th and 21st century!

And Warrior381!

The Real John TitorTM, my great pal from the incestuous world of time travel has literally balled himself ragged in THE FUTURE where we live and has decided he will be RETURNING TO THIS VERY FORUM any day now! Before you all start to reach for the box of tissues he has confirmed he will be logging on under an amazing new ID - Timetraveller03 or something similar to that. I begged him to use his original ID (I say 'begged', I mean I shouted it out during a particularly frenzied threesome with a Lizardan whore) and he has confirmed he can't be bothered and will use a new one instead. The Real John TitorTM has also confirmed you can ignore all these malfants calling themselves JohnTitor38, JohnTitor2522 or whatever and unless they carry the official TM of TITOR ENTERPRISES INTERGALACTIC they are nothing but fools, charlatans and Muscle Tree-eating Time Cake Scum.

I am writing this in anticipation of his arrival back in your time, so keep watching the forum as he will return soon! Very soon!*


*Unless he simply can't be bothered, he asked me to add

Lord High Vizier David Kinksworth

PR Secretary to The Real John TitorTM
TITOR ENTERPRISES INTERGALACTIC*
TITOR TOWERS
Off the coast of The UFSA
THE FUTURE
*Incorporating TITOR TIME TRAVEL TOURS, TITORMATES - THE DATING AGENCY OF THE FUTURE
and CHRONOPETZ - CREEDO299 CLONES NOW AVAILABLE 'YOUR FAITHFUL FURRY FRIENDZ'
 
GREAT GREAT Great news my tiny dribbling primitive homosexual chumz
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I like girlz. DUnno about them lizardian chicks tho.

I am writing this in anticipation of his arrival back in your time, so keep watching the forum as he will return soon! Very soon!*
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Shouldn't he BE HERE ALREADY? I mean he IS traveling in.....time...?
RMT
 
ahhh i love it love it i just wonder?? why i am i legend Dave? also if i go to the future i must not come back home hmmm i wonder what do you see Dave.
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No Titor isn't back here in the primitive past now, he's in THE FUTURE(TM) playing Star Jaxck with little Ethan, while I have to power up my time travel belt and head back to the miserable time hovel you call the 21st century. He'll be returning to the two bedroomed maisonette we call 'that craphole back in the past' and logging onto this very website forum in the next couple of days. In fact he's already here in two days time. To be honest my trisexual chumz its all a bit paradoxical, and boring. Whatever. Get ready pop kidz of the 21st century, the man they all call John Titor AKA The Real John Titor TM (always address him this way due to copyright reasons) is ON. HIS. WAY. BACK.

Oh and Warrior381 you certainly are a legend, just not in the way you think. Creedo299 sends his regards, and wants you to know he's well, he's watered and fed regularly and has all the space he needs to scamper around, unashamed of the quills rising from his dorsal fin.

The Winslet-Bot is currently deactivated, sorry
 
The Winslet-Bot is currently deactivated, sorry
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This isn't some attempt to get us all to go for Lizardian beings with their 15 orifices is it ? And so thin and scaley too ! Whatever the demerits of us ape-like creatures from the 21st century....I hear the female of our species is the envy of the multiverse. I do wish, though, that when you guys from the future visit and examine the wildlife you would stop inserting the 'communication probe' into our rears. That's OK to do with politicians though ( they are a seperate lowly evolved species ).
 
No my primitive friend, it is not. The de-activation of the Winslet-Bot has arisen due to her being repeatedly frottaged by a feral Creedo during one of his monthly mating frenzies. As you all know his staple diet of daily mucus pellets are full of all types of tranquilizer and we often have to resort to beating him with a Muscle Tree now and then, however it was one set of full moons too much for him and the poor Winslet-bot took the full brunt of his extended projectiles. The next day we found her poor plastic tits in Creedo's pond and her metal ass still attached to his quivering appendage in his feather-lined kennel. John (that is, The Real John Titor TM) was not best pleased as he still had nearly 20 drogues of credit left in her, um, slot.
Never fear though my slavering cavepeople from the dark ages! She will be fixed and ready for all manner of futuristic fornication very soon (in fact by the 'time' I return to the FUTURE. For those of you interested we have also ordered a complete set of Dhaxa-5 triplets-bots from the 23rd century and yes they have a full set of working add-ons. Yum!

I also have it on good authority that the communication probe in the rear is a two way experience hombre, so cool your furry boots.

David
 
Never fear though my slavering cavepeople from the dark ages! She will be fixed and ready for all manner of futuristic fornication very soon
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Yum ! 21st century drool coming up. Now there's something you highly advanced beings must miss ( says Twighlight salivating onto the keyboard ). Can't beat a good old fashioned ape-like drool.
 
You may have noticed by now that John has not been bothered to come back to this forum and answer your questions. Unfortunately all of our Time Belt TM credits have been eaten up in finding out the truth about Jacin Young and John has returned to THE FUTURE.

I hope you can live with yourself and this knowledge Jacin Young, you fiend.
 
You may have noticed by now that John has not been bothered to come back to this forum and answer your questions. Unfortunately all of our Time Belt TM credits have been eaten up in finding out the truth about Jacin Young and John has returned to THE FUTURE.
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Nooooo ! We're all going to chip in to buy Titor a cattle class seat on a Virgin Intergalactic Timecruiser from 2632. Just as soon as we can raise the $3.98 trillion fare. We could get $1.2 trillion off if Titor goes as a baby, or if he's good at dressing up he could go FREE under the new 'Whitehouse Intern Blue Dress Travel Scheme' inaugurated by Bill Clinton's great great great great great great..etc...grandson in 2385....but Titor might not like what he has to do to get on the scheme.

So far we have 39 cents and a Pepsi ring pull towards Titor's return.
 
he could go FREE under the new 'Whitehouse Intern Blue Dress Travel Scheme' inaugurated by Bill Clinton's great great great great great great..etc...grandson in 2385....but Titor might not like what he has to do to get on the scheme.
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C'mon, dude. We all know he did NOT have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. We know it because he told us himself! And the day that politicians start lying is the same day they prove The Real John Titor TM to be a hoax! Ummm.....errrrrr. Still, I'll bet that the Virtual Lewinsky gets a lot of porn playtime in the Kinkster's era!

RMT
 
And the day that politicians start lying is the same day they prove The Real John Titor TM to be a hoax!
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Scientists in the 25th century finally got rid of the "vote for me, I'm a bigger liar than the other guy" gene, which was deemed by a class action lawsuit in 2350 to invalidate all prior election results and led to the Washington memorial being sold to the Chinese to pay part of the $540 quintillion national debt.

When the 2000 presidential election results were finally given a full recount in 2358, based on what people would have voted for without the genetic defect, it turned out that most people actually voted for Britney Spears. A holographic image of her singing 'Hit me baby one more time' was thus made president for 4 years, before being impeached for starting a war with Latvia over recording rights.

Mount Rushmore has now been reshaped to show Britney Spears, George Clooney, Michael Jackson, and Mickey Mouse. People are all happy and content, there have been no new taxes for 100 years, and the national debt is now down to a manageble $337 quintillion.
 
I sense a disturbance in the Force.
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I saw I Sense a Disturbance in the Farce at the Dorothy Chandler. Starred Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder.
 
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