G
Guest
I figured instead of having all my story info all over the site, i would start this thread so i can stay out of the few Serious Time Travel discussions that take place. Ask me a question about the story.
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Guest
<Well, this story was origonaly going to be a game, but then i changed it. So i was looking for a good theme song for it, and then i heard Linkin Park In The End, and i was like"Thats It!"
BTW i was a fan of linkin park and in the end before it was relesed on the radio, unlike some fans who hadnt even HEARD of them before in the end was relesed.
i came up with the base story along time ago, and it was NOTHING like this at all. Vertigo, Pyro, and everything was still unheard of.
Then, about 7 months ago, i made a drastic change that made the story into what it is.
I still have the papers from when my story was just people talking with a note about the scene every once in a while.
Mebby ill get them and type it up for you folks so you can see just how far it has come.
The base idea for the first story was:
Four Kids accidentaly get sucked into a wormhole that puts them into the future, where earth is back to the castle age, but still has some technology left. In order to get home, they needed to find the White Warriors armor, the only device that can control where a Wormhole flows. The armor was spread around.
The four kids found that they were followed by thier Arch Rivals from school, and they join a rival clan.
Oh my how its changed.
Oh, and with all the Books i mentioned above, i forgot one:
Broken Time:Armor Generations
This will be a sequel/tribute to the story above. Thunder(Vertigo's Daughter...hehe...i havent mentioned that yet have i?)
Is now grown up, and her father is Retired from fighting OR hes dead(havent decided) But she is now protecting the armor, and they have found four kids who excell in thier elemental training, and she must train them to be the next keepers of the armor.
Info i havent said yet:
Vertigo and Pyro have kinda a love/hate thing going on. They know each others limits and weaknesses. If they are both in the same place, and one is trying to do something,they will fight, but its much less of a fight as it is a training session.
At one point while thier fighting, the V man will say:
"Why do you try so hard? you do know this isnt the Final Battle"
Pyro"I know, but if you think im trying my hardest, then the advantage when the final battle comes will be mine"
and the last thing for this post: a quote from Vertigo
"The Grass is only Greener on the other side because I put shit like you there">
Well, once again Vertigo you certainly have a active imagination which is allowing you to implement the story to improve it as you go along.
I like your attachment of the the songs! You right L/P is a great song!
I also like the introduction of Thunder! So Thunder has the Armor and Jacob has the Jewel? Hmmm Brother and Sister, catchy!
Explain this elemental training?
CAT...
BTW i was a fan of linkin park and in the end before it was relesed on the radio, unlike some fans who hadnt even HEARD of them before in the end was relesed.
i came up with the base story along time ago, and it was NOTHING like this at all. Vertigo, Pyro, and everything was still unheard of.
Then, about 7 months ago, i made a drastic change that made the story into what it is.
I still have the papers from when my story was just people talking with a note about the scene every once in a while.
Mebby ill get them and type it up for you folks so you can see just how far it has come.
The base idea for the first story was:
Four Kids accidentaly get sucked into a wormhole that puts them into the future, where earth is back to the castle age, but still has some technology left. In order to get home, they needed to find the White Warriors armor, the only device that can control where a Wormhole flows. The armor was spread around.
The four kids found that they were followed by thier Arch Rivals from school, and they join a rival clan.
Oh my how its changed.
Oh, and with all the Books i mentioned above, i forgot one:
Broken Time:Armor Generations
This will be a sequel/tribute to the story above. Thunder(Vertigo's Daughter...hehe...i havent mentioned that yet have i?)
Is now grown up, and her father is Retired from fighting OR hes dead(havent decided) But she is now protecting the armor, and they have found four kids who excell in thier elemental training, and she must train them to be the next keepers of the armor.
Info i havent said yet:
Vertigo and Pyro have kinda a love/hate thing going on. They know each others limits and weaknesses. If they are both in the same place, and one is trying to do something,they will fight, but its much less of a fight as it is a training session.
At one point while thier fighting, the V man will say:
"Why do you try so hard? you do know this isnt the Final Battle"
Pyro"I know, but if you think im trying my hardest, then the advantage when the final battle comes will be mine"
and the last thing for this post: a quote from Vertigo
"The Grass is only Greener on the other side because I put shit like you there">
Well, once again Vertigo you certainly have a active imagination which is allowing you to implement the story to improve it as you go along.
I like your attachment of the the songs! You right L/P is a great song!
I also like the introduction of Thunder! So Thunder has the Armor and Jacob has the Jewel? Hmmm Brother and Sister, catchy!
Explain this elemental training?
CAT...
G
Guest
Vertigo gets a wife, but im planning on them having a bad relationship and a broken home. Thunder was born out of this, and happens to be half Storm,Half Fire. Thunder doesnt go to Element school, but learns from her father and from Jacob and Luna's Son Uni(hehe...luna doesnt come up that much, but shes a vital part of the story at one point) BTW Uni is short for Universe, because he was born with full Lunar element.
Ok, Elemental School.
Well first, when people have a child, they cant tell the Element right away. When the child is 11 cycles old, they take him to a small building near the school. There lives the only person in the world who could show you the element.
The Ritual starts. The Child is set in a bed on a short pillar in the center, while the Element Priest dabs a small amount of liqid on the forehead, then he does a spell. The Element of the child is shown floating above the child. If it was a Storm element, then a small thunderstorm will form over the child.
If Fire, there wil be a small fire burning and so on.
Then, they wait one Full Cycle afterward. At that time, they can enroll them in Elemental School. There is no fee to go to elemental school, but they are strict in conduct. Basicly they teach people of the same elemental type to use easy spells and the building blocks of making custom spells.
Along with study, they have training sessions that you can take. They have special rooms that are monitered by a man in another room, so you can practice spells you created or difficult spells you dont want to try in an open enviroment. If it gets over the top, the man can put up an Anti Magic field in the room.
To avoid comfusion, each element was givin a color. Each student is forced to wear a uniform with thier color(s) on it
For instance, iver Pyro went to school, he would wear shorts, and a red shirt. If Thunder went to school, she would wear a skirt and a Purple and Red shirt, the purple and red seperated by a diagonal line donw from the right sholder the the left abs.
You have to remember, Jacob doesnt like Thunder very much because of what Vertigo put him and Pyro through, HOWEVER Thunder likes Jacob as a Love Intrest. Even though Vertigo Apoligized to Jacob, he hasnt talked with him since.
Ok, Elemental School.
Well first, when people have a child, they cant tell the Element right away. When the child is 11 cycles old, they take him to a small building near the school. There lives the only person in the world who could show you the element.
The Ritual starts. The Child is set in a bed on a short pillar in the center, while the Element Priest dabs a small amount of liqid on the forehead, then he does a spell. The Element of the child is shown floating above the child. If it was a Storm element, then a small thunderstorm will form over the child.
If Fire, there wil be a small fire burning and so on.
Then, they wait one Full Cycle afterward. At that time, they can enroll them in Elemental School. There is no fee to go to elemental school, but they are strict in conduct. Basicly they teach people of the same elemental type to use easy spells and the building blocks of making custom spells.
Along with study, they have training sessions that you can take. They have special rooms that are monitered by a man in another room, so you can practice spells you created or difficult spells you dont want to try in an open enviroment. If it gets over the top, the man can put up an Anti Magic field in the room.
To avoid comfusion, each element was givin a color. Each student is forced to wear a uniform with thier color(s) on it
For instance, iver Pyro went to school, he would wear shorts, and a red shirt. If Thunder went to school, she would wear a skirt and a Purple and Red shirt, the purple and red seperated by a diagonal line donw from the right sholder the the left abs.
You have to remember, Jacob doesnt like Thunder very much because of what Vertigo put him and Pyro through, HOWEVER Thunder likes Jacob as a Love Intrest. Even though Vertigo Apoligized to Jacob, he hasnt talked with him since.
G
Guest
Vertgo, is this original and of your own devise? because it sounds to good! How old are you anyways? Do you know the process to take in getting this published and noticed? Maybe you should write the whole story and publish it on the web for others to read.
<Vertigo gets a wife, but im planning on them having a bad relationship and a broken home. Thunder was born out of this, and happens to be half Storm,Half Fire.>
I think thats a good idea. Even though its in a fantacy type story others can relate because it hits home and seems to be the ongoing trend these days. sibling rivalry and jelousy stem out of this and maybe you can set an example of how to combat this?
Is the school like comune living a home away from home? where the children are separated from their parents after they are weened and only see them on the weekends or on holidays? (What kind of holidays would this universe/planet have?
With Uni being a full lunar element and being more powerful than his parents how would they have control of him as he grows up? or does the school control this?
I like the concept of the colors of the uniforms and testing done by the element priest. Very interesting! So maybe the oil iluminates the aura (like light through a crystal)(like a rainbow) so it exibits the element?
<Thunder likes Jacob as a Love Interest.> They're family isn't that incest? I think thats a major turn off! I think you should stay away from encouraging this in your story! It might breed week, bad or evil elements!
CAT...
<Vertigo gets a wife, but im planning on them having a bad relationship and a broken home. Thunder was born out of this, and happens to be half Storm,Half Fire.>
I think thats a good idea. Even though its in a fantacy type story others can relate because it hits home and seems to be the ongoing trend these days. sibling rivalry and jelousy stem out of this and maybe you can set an example of how to combat this?
Is the school like comune living a home away from home? where the children are separated from their parents after they are weened and only see them on the weekends or on holidays? (What kind of holidays would this universe/planet have?
With Uni being a full lunar element and being more powerful than his parents how would they have control of him as he grows up? or does the school control this?
I like the concept of the colors of the uniforms and testing done by the element priest. Very interesting! So maybe the oil iluminates the aura (like light through a crystal)(like a rainbow) so it exibits the element?
<Thunder likes Jacob as a Love Interest.> They're family isn't that incest? I think thats a major turn off! I think you should stay away from encouraging this in your story! It might breed week, bad or evil elements!
CAT...
G
Guest
Ok, and im in the Firing line again:
Yes i came up with the entire story and everything in full.
Im 16, but i act older....sometimes...
Acctualy, i was going to have Vertigo's wife leave him, and have Thunder get visiting time between them.
The school is like a public school. The kids go back home every day. There is higher level schools that most kids go to that are like Collages. As for Holidays...dont know yet. most likely they will be more for reflection.
Uni is an increadbly fast learner, and he speeds though elemental school. Hes just like every other rebel teen, but even Uni knows not to use Magic against his parents.
Oil...yeah kinda
REMEMBER Vertigo decides to live a normal life and fix the damage that he did do. Jacob still cant forget that, but he cant be angry or incest at the rest of the family.
Plus, there is an Age Difference....hmm...i think your right on this one now that i think about it. Mebby i will have her like one of the four in the Generation's book.
hey, do you have any Messaging progs? i use AIM,MSNM, and once in a while ICQ. i would love to talk to you about some of this stuff in real time. I think it would help alot.
Yes i came up with the entire story and everything in full.
Im 16, but i act older....sometimes...
Acctualy, i was going to have Vertigo's wife leave him, and have Thunder get visiting time between them.
The school is like a public school. The kids go back home every day. There is higher level schools that most kids go to that are like Collages. As for Holidays...dont know yet. most likely they will be more for reflection.
Uni is an increadbly fast learner, and he speeds though elemental school. Hes just like every other rebel teen, but even Uni knows not to use Magic against his parents.
Oil...yeah kinda
REMEMBER Vertigo decides to live a normal life and fix the damage that he did do. Jacob still cant forget that, but he cant be angry or incest at the rest of the family.
Plus, there is an Age Difference....hmm...i think your right on this one now that i think about it. Mebby i will have her like one of the four in the Generation's book.
hey, do you have any Messaging progs? i use AIM,MSNM, and once in a while ICQ. i would love to talk to you about some of this stuff in real time. I think it would help alot.
G
Guest
Are my 15 minuets of fame over?
Far from it!
Ok here are my questions. (I'm always up for encouraging young story writers even though I'm mainly an artist, not a writer)
Have you written your story down yet? Or is this just a brain storming thread? I would suggest writing it down and getting all the details squared away before "sharing" on the web.
Also a website, something like the official "Broken Time" website where you could have a link to Q&As, maybe even start up your own forum and get your own following going, and post your concept images for the armor etc. If you would like help with people creating images for you, I know a great place you can visit, not cause I'm a Moderator there hehe, but because the people are just really friendly. You can find lots of 3D artists who would be willing to help if you ask nicely. The URL is www.big-i.com and it's an artists forum but we welcome story tellers too
You may find lots of inspiration there. Just tell 'em PAN sent ya...your bound to get a warm reception!
<hr size="1" width="80%" color="#000099" align="left">PANdaRUS~
www.federation-21.com
"Time Means Nothing"
Ok here are my questions. (I'm always up for encouraging young story writers even though I'm mainly an artist, not a writer)
Have you written your story down yet? Or is this just a brain storming thread? I would suggest writing it down and getting all the details squared away before "sharing" on the web.
Also a website, something like the official "Broken Time" website where you could have a link to Q&As, maybe even start up your own forum and get your own following going, and post your concept images for the armor etc. If you would like help with people creating images for you, I know a great place you can visit, not cause I'm a Moderator there hehe, but because the people are just really friendly. You can find lots of 3D artists who would be willing to help if you ask nicely. The URL is www.big-i.com and it's an artists forum but we welcome story tellers too
<hr size="1" width="80%" color="#000099" align="left">PANdaRUS~
www.federation-21.com
"Time Means Nothing"
G
Guest
I was planning on it, but i dont even have the first book done yet. Like i said, everything i wrote on this site is straight from the story in my head.
im going to that site. i think ill ask some people to make me some pics of the characters.
and thanks for all the help. If you need any help with your story when it comes to character relations or plot twists, let me know.
im going to that site. i think ill ask some people to make me some pics of the characters.
and thanks for all the help. If you need any help with your story when it comes to character relations or plot twists, let me know.
G
Guest
Hey Vert,
What do you mean your 15 minuets of fame is over? HOLLYWOOD IS GOING TO BE CALLING FOR THE MOVIE RIGHTS SOON! A MUSIC VIDEO WITH LINCOLN PARK AND POSING WITH BRITTNEY SPEARS ON A HARLEY!!! YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS AND THEN SOME!!! HEE HEE!!!
You wouldnt want to give the whole story away now would ya? theres a bunch of kleptomaniacs out there like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas steeling big ideas from the little guys!
You have to keep us all in SUSPENSE!
Good story though and I think Pan can really help you or at least set you off in the right direction. Even though he lives a life of solitute with two great Cats! I guess he has to get his sandpaper kisses from someone!
I think what made Star Wars so big today is that people look at it like a religion. (The Force) and whether you believe it or not most of its contents are biblical based. One example Jedi/Jew.
And I think this is the route to take to encorporate this into your story. Science and Religion are one in the same!
CAT...
What do you mean your 15 minuets of fame is over? HOLLYWOOD IS GOING TO BE CALLING FOR THE MOVIE RIGHTS SOON! A MUSIC VIDEO WITH LINCOLN PARK AND POSING WITH BRITTNEY SPEARS ON A HARLEY!!! YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS AND THEN SOME!!! HEE HEE!!!
You wouldnt want to give the whole story away now would ya? theres a bunch of kleptomaniacs out there like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas steeling big ideas from the little guys!
You have to keep us all in SUSPENSE!
Good story though and I think Pan can really help you or at least set you off in the right direction. Even though he lives a life of solitute with two great Cats! I guess he has to get his sandpaper kisses from someone!
I think what made Star Wars so big today is that people look at it like a religion. (The Force) and whether you believe it or not most of its contents are biblical based. One example Jedi/Jew.
And I think this is the route to take to encorporate this into your story. Science and Religion are one in the same!
CAT...
TimeTravelActivist
Dimensional Traveler
Yeah Vertigo, your still “inâ€
. You’re a lot more creative then I was when I was 16. And hell lot more proficient in the English language. You just need to stick with it, and work as hard as you can if you want to accomplish something you want to be proud of.
You’re well on your way, just follow your dreams and never lose heart in what you believe in doing.
Your friend,
TTA
P.S. I see you registered at the big-i.com . Cool, maybe someday I’ll join it my self. I have some erratic artistic ideas to share
. I’ve used poser once before, but got confused
.
I’m still working on trying to figure out Photoshop
.
You’re well on your way, just follow your dreams and never lose heart in what you believe in doing.
Your friend,
TTA
P.S. I see you registered at the big-i.com . Cool, maybe someday I’ll join it my self. I have some erratic artistic ideas to share
I’m still working on trying to figure out Photoshop
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Guest
<quote>I’m still working on trying to figure out Photoshop .
</quote>
Arent we all?
i know i have a good story, and i know this will make me rich someday. i just have to ...you know....WRITE IT.
and CAT, you STILL havent answered my question: DO YOU HAVE any Chat Progs so we can chat?
Same with TTA and panda rust(hehe thats how i remember your name)
</quote>
Arent we all?
i know i have a good story, and i know this will make me rich someday. i just have to ...you know....WRITE IT.
and CAT, you STILL havent answered my question: DO YOU HAVE any Chat Progs so we can chat?
Same with TTA and panda rust(hehe thats how i remember your name)
TimeTravelActivist
Dimensional Traveler
I have a yahoo messanger account, but I am hardly on it at all. I don't know if I will be of any help to you though
. But if you catch me on sometime and want to chat about anything, you can IM me at Cortezalpha1
.
-TTA
-TTA
G
Guest
Hi Vert,
Ok hows this, you posted:
<<The armor has been the subject cat was more concerned about in my story, so i spent a good deal of yesterday finishing off my plan for it. The armor comes in three Parts. The Breast Plate, The Sword, and the Jewel(carried by Jacob)The armor, at first glance, is just a brestplate. It is a white curved peice of armor with gold trim and two W's in the middle stacked verticly in the White Warrior Symbol. When they first find the Breastplate, Jacob puts it on, and notices there is no slot to put the jewel, so he starts pushing on the armor for anything. When he presses on the W symbol, the two W exstend out from the armor(still attached, just out a bit) and a Handle exstends from the bottom. He grabs the handle, and the W and all come off. Then, he presses a button on the Handle, and the Blade exstends. Its about a 4'10 blade. At the bottom of the blade, Jacob notices a slot that looks like the jewel would fit. He puts it in. The sword above that point dissappears, and the section with the jewel goes down into the two W. He holds in in the chest hole, and it latches back on, the handle goes up, and the W's go back in. At this point, the Armor creates the arm legs, lower torso, and helmet needed to finish the armor. It exstends magicly from the brest plate. When He takes the sword out, the armor stays exstended, but his sword now has two blades when exstended. to get back to the brest plate, they put the sword back into the brestplate without the jewel.>>
<<PLOT TWIST!!
The same armor that was used to create the White Warrior armor is ALSO the same metal that covers Vertigo's skin, leading us to belive that the government was using vertigo for more then a soilder.>>
I see the plot thickens on your armor! I like it. I think its pretty technical and catchy! Well thought out and designed. How about the armor have a safty device that makes it invisible and only those that are tuned into its frequency can hear it and find it. Sort of like the armor calls to them.
I think the W should hold a more significant symbolistic meaning. Such as this W could be combined into several alien words as it changes position on the armor. Each position of the W is a whole completely different word and and dimentional meaning and in this way allows that the armore the ability to TT.(very complicated...)
CAT...
Ok hows this, you posted:
<<The armor has been the subject cat was more concerned about in my story, so i spent a good deal of yesterday finishing off my plan for it. The armor comes in three Parts. The Breast Plate, The Sword, and the Jewel(carried by Jacob)The armor, at first glance, is just a brestplate. It is a white curved peice of armor with gold trim and two W's in the middle stacked verticly in the White Warrior Symbol. When they first find the Breastplate, Jacob puts it on, and notices there is no slot to put the jewel, so he starts pushing on the armor for anything. When he presses on the W symbol, the two W exstend out from the armor(still attached, just out a bit) and a Handle exstends from the bottom. He grabs the handle, and the W and all come off. Then, he presses a button on the Handle, and the Blade exstends. Its about a 4'10 blade. At the bottom of the blade, Jacob notices a slot that looks like the jewel would fit. He puts it in. The sword above that point dissappears, and the section with the jewel goes down into the two W. He holds in in the chest hole, and it latches back on, the handle goes up, and the W's go back in. At this point, the Armor creates the arm legs, lower torso, and helmet needed to finish the armor. It exstends magicly from the brest plate. When He takes the sword out, the armor stays exstended, but his sword now has two blades when exstended. to get back to the brest plate, they put the sword back into the brestplate without the jewel.>>
<<PLOT TWIST!!
The same armor that was used to create the White Warrior armor is ALSO the same metal that covers Vertigo's skin, leading us to belive that the government was using vertigo for more then a soilder.>>
I see the plot thickens on your armor! I like it. I think its pretty technical and catchy! Well thought out and designed. How about the armor have a safty device that makes it invisible and only those that are tuned into its frequency can hear it and find it. Sort of like the armor calls to them.
I think the W should hold a more significant symbolistic meaning. Such as this W could be combined into several alien words as it changes position on the armor. Each position of the W is a whole completely different word and and dimentional meaning and in this way allows that the armore the ability to TT.(very complicated...)
CAT...
G
Guest
Cat..
Your first idea is nice, but i cant decipher your second. Make it more understandable for my tiny brain.
And.
Depending on who wears the armor changes the armors look, abilities, and limitations. Like the mask. On good, its good. On Evil, its evil.
Your first idea is nice, but i cant decipher your second. Make it more understandable for my tiny brain.
And.
Depending on who wears the armor changes the armors look, abilities, and limitations. Like the mask. On good, its good. On Evil, its evil.
G
Guest
Well Vert,
Its very complicated and might take years to conceive of such a alien technology.
But to break it down in simple terms for you, It is the language of all life in the known abyss. It was the very first genetic graph that was splashed with light upon the heavens. These light formations formed a language that not only spoke but also created. And is the template of all their is.
Each light pattern letter has an atomic weight, frequency, color, and chromatic sound. And by understanding this language one can transcend time and be able to move with ease through the known dimensions.
Like I said very complicated! I don't know if I could explain it much better than that without addressing divine authorship to it. And taking into account that you are only looking for a fiction story.
CAT...
Its very complicated and might take years to conceive of such a alien technology.
But to break it down in simple terms for you, It is the language of all life in the known abyss. It was the very first genetic graph that was splashed with light upon the heavens. These light formations formed a language that not only spoke but also created. And is the template of all their is.
Each light pattern letter has an atomic weight, frequency, color, and chromatic sound. And by understanding this language one can transcend time and be able to move with ease through the known dimensions.
Like I said very complicated! I don't know if I could explain it much better than that without addressing divine authorship to it. And taking into account that you are only looking for a fiction story.
CAT...
G
Guest
im sorry i asked
i dont understand half the stuff you guys talk about here.
i dont understand half the stuff you guys talk about here.
G
Guest
Well, maybe you should expand your horizons! that's of course if you want a good first hand story...
CAT...
CAT...