Nonsense from the future

dave_kinky

dave_kinky

Temporal Navigator
Hello I am from the year 2434, from the timeline Klarg 23
Its nice in the future, yes we still use the vastly undescriptive word 'nice'
Please tell me if you'd like me to switch on my 'spelling mistake' filter so it looks like (a) I am merely pretending I can't spell properly as I use some crazy 'future vernacular' or (b) genuinely can't spell but have far too much time on my hands

Please ask me any questions you like, I promise to avoid anything I don't actually understand and yes, even though there was an atomic war in 2200 we made sure we got the internet back online with greater bandwidth

Obviously that was the human race's first priority
 
To further add to my claims I am currently sitting in the living room of a small suburban house laughing at this quaint antiquated computer I am forced to use. I am wearing a helmet made of Zythron metallium with a flashing LED display and am wearing what can only be described in the primitive terminology of Dark Ages 21st century as 'enormous pointed shoulder pads'.
I am naked apart from that.
Thank you

Please, do ask me some questions. I'm all ears. Well, I've got four ears, mankind hasn't literally evolved into an ear/brain creature.Least not yet.
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

The toilets in my time are quiet. When they flush you don't hear anything. You don't use toilet paper to wipe your bum. When you are finished water is sprayed up your bum then warm is dries the water.
The waste is then analysed to see if there is anything wrong with you and if there is a doctor comes around. The waste is then sent to the nearest power plant for the waste to be made into power.


Oh, OK, I've copied this bit off Chronohistorian, obviously toilets are going to be high on the list of arcane knowledge brought back from the future. Also note the word 'bum' - very scientific.
Luckily my space helmet regulates my bodily functions and recycles any 'waste product' rather than my having to resort to some kind of cosmic 'space bidet' as detailed above.

Still no questions? You primitives!
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

So, how did I get to 2004 I don't hear you ask?
I was teleported, using a 'Transference Power Beam' from the 'Time Travel Base' on Neptune. Myself and my two companions (or 'Time Troops') were blasted into the past. The power drain was enormous and most of Neptune will be without vital life-supporting energy for the next couple of weeks. However as they're just Lizard-Men from the planet Klaxxxzooone, we won't worry about that too much. "Vermin are vermin" as they say on Skybase (but lets face it they would, wouldn't they?)

This was a couple of days ago, naturally!

Lets just hope theres enough power to get us back there! The future that is
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

Hi Dave, welcome to 2004. I hope your History is not lost too!

I have a question for you,

1-Year 2111 !! does it ring a bell?
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

Yes, 1-Year 2111 is the pin number of my Intergalactic Bank Account - I bet it was one of the Time Soldiers who gave it you wasn't it? They're such kidders! Still, the ATM is on Sky Base in the 25th century so I haven't got much to worry about really - also Galctic Credits can't be spent here either!
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

Okay, well I have a question. How did you know where to find this Time Travel Forum when you arrived here in our time? Is there something there which pointed you ( & other Time Travellers ) to this web site? I truly am interested, because it seems that this is really the hub of meeting places for Time Travellers. /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif


Also, I've been reading a bit about End Times Prophecies & the return of the Anti Christ falsely dressed as the real Christ returning. Have you got anything for us on this?

Thanx, looking forward to your reply.
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

Well the fact its called Time Travel Institute is a bit of a giveaway for one, posting on, say a Farmers or Dockyard workers forum wouldn't really have the same effect.

As for the 'Anti-Christ' don't worry about all that Christian nonsense, there is no God (or Allah or Thor, or any of them) in 400 years or so time where I come from science has eradicated the need for an invisible sky pixie.
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

Well the fact its called Time Travel Institute is a bit of a giveaway for one, posting on, say a Farmers or Dockyard workers forum wouldn't really have the same effect.
Click to expand...

Well, duh! What I'm asking is how did you find us? Seems that quite a few people claiming to be Time Travellers come here & I'm just curios to know how. Is it listed in the Yellow Pages for Time Travellers, for example? /ttiforum/images/graemlins/confused.gif
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

Is it listed in the Yellow Pages for Time Travellers, for example?
Click to expand...

As a matter of fact.....no.

Just kidding.

However, as time travellers, the address is easy to remember. We dont have to keep complex records of being able to communicate with each other. We can post what seems to be dribble in these forums, and have the real message encoded within the blah-blah-blah.


"""Well the fact its called Time Travel Institute is a bit of a giveaway for one, posting on, say a Farmers or Dockyard workers forum wouldn't really have the same effect."""

This really means..."I am in need of some more current time period money. Please transmit request to supervisor. Also found out citizens called "used car salesmen" in this time period are inaccurate with reporting true conditions of time period transportation units. Please warn all other Team members. Next Transmisson at 21:00 hours. "
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

Just stuck 'John Titor' into Google and this was one of the many places we discovered to visit, no idea who John Titor was (or will be) though - not from my parallel I'm afraid!
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

I love a sractistic wit. I went on abovetopsecert.com and they locked my thread when I said something about time travel. I love how this site even has a board for time travel claims. This board is very enertaining.
 
Haha, I think you're the worst fake time traveler ever. In my parallel worldine there was a guy called John Travis who pretended to be a time traveler on UniBoard, much like John Titor but he was a proven fake.
 
I come from parallel worldline which is more or less 3 seconds ahead of this one.
In my universe it is still year 2004 but time machine was revealed in European Federation in 1997 which is where I am from.
History of this world is much different than mine.
 
Oh, so what kind of transportation device do you use?
Do people on your worldline have diplomatic relations with other worlds?
Two worldlines from 2039 are in war and one Earth has been knocked out of orbit.
 
Re: Nonsense from the future / toilets

I cannot speak for the other travelors here, but I heard about this through a comm uplink from project Tick Tock. They communicated with Tony and myself from the year 1966, which was our starting point. The scientists at Tick Tock urged us to get in touch with the TTI for advice and perhaps help in breaking free of this timetravel loop we are in.
Doug
 
"Oh, so what kind of transportation device do you use?
Do people on your worldline have diplomatic relations with other worlds?
Two worldlines from 2039 are in war and one Earth has been knocked out of orbit. "

As previously stated we are beamed here from the Time Tourism Station on Neptune, and will be recalled at a pre-arranged date in your future. No moaning, we just dematerialise. Leaving nothing but a pile of clothes or a car crashing or a shocked and upset female primitive.

No we do not have diplomatic relations with other worlds and we do not have 'The Authority' style parallel worlds at war with each other.

How positively chemsel.
 
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