<font size="1" color="#FF0000">LAST EDITED ON 07-Aug-02 AT 12:37PM (EDT)</font>
yzend1,
Are you CRAZY! you sound like a brain sucker starving! Do you have any clue what the web site you listed above is really all about?
NANTAS, you posted above,
<<Im a strange individual as i am not scared of death,mainly cos i see it too much(well like we all do,sept 11th being a good example),ive actually become switched off,im emotionless at funerals,even though they were mostly family members,i went to a psychologist and he told me that i had come to the conclusion the absolute conclusion that there is nothing i can do,so my super strong helplesness has switched off my brain in that region of thought,like i have litterly blown a fuse,happened after my dad
died when i was 14 he reckons,he told me that he even reckons i tattoo my body because of the permenence of death(trying to compensate by giving my life something permenent),he also said thats why i choose skull and demon related desighns for the subject material,i cant express the feelings by emotion so psychologically ive etched them permenently on skin.>>
Well let me first say that TTA is correct! Almost every new person that comes to this board and posts for the VERY FIRST TIME, is subject to the double digets either in the posting number or the time posted. I have been watching this unfold as I've been here on the forum for almost a year and a half. I cant explain it? Its definetly temperal manipulation!
About this switched off feeling after your fathers death. I completely understand what this is! I HAVE IT TOO! So many unbelievable things have happend in my life that fear it seems doesnt exist in the way it used to in my youth. I almost feel like I have survived and conquered the inevidable and nothing can hurt or penetrate me anymore, everything else is small and menial. I realize that my concience is the only thing there is! Its seems sometimes I can run for miles and the frame of mind that I'm in (as well as good physical shape) I never get tired! I just keep on running and breathing, never hurting. I don't get tierd of running, I get tierd of going to far and realizing I have other errands to do in the day. Strange?
In respects to your father telling to you get a tatoo and marking your body with skulls. I think it was his way of putting his mark on you! even if other people view these signs as demonic when they look at you, it means nothing of the sort. Sometimes fate is not without a sense of irony! meaning perhaps it was his way to bring you to understanding his death and your conciousness and down the ultimate path of GD! Sometimes inbetween life and death in ones last gripping moments their soul is lucid and can see into the future!
I feel that you coming to this web site was NO MISTAKE! Yes there are answers here for you that somebody has deliberatly guided you to.
AND WHAT THIS IS, I DO KNOW!
Later for now,
CAT...