im going to call. i left and drove far away and i calmed down. cried a lot than turned and came back. but got the car stuck in the snow on one of the back roads unintentionally, so i took the shovel and dug my way out, freed the car luckily and came back home with little gas in the car. my family doesnt know that i drove far away feeling gravely ill. i just act as normal as i can. im going to talk to a professional. i had to delete those messages.