Clearwater goings on:
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Question submitted by Genny, to starlight347 on aquatic animals.
Question:We own an estuary with a small harbor in Florida and when my husband went out to feed the swans, he didn't come back.
Stars,Answer:So you looked for him mam?
Questioner:Well yes, I did.
Answer
id you find him?
Quest:Yes.
Ans:Alive?
Quest:No.
Ans:A little more info please..?
Quest:Well he was bitten inhalf by something, something in the estuary.He's dead!
Ans:I think that this is a problem for the police and emergency medic mam?
Quest:Ahhhhh' no, this was a creature, it's very big and it's still in the pond.
Ans
lease describe it mam?
Quest:Well' it's a shark of some kind, but the fin on its back that rises out of the water, is about seven feet in height.
Ans:This is a dredged out harbor?
Quest:Yes
Ans:Can you describe what you have seen of this shark?
Quest:It's about,..mmmmmhmm, about sixty feet long, very dark, almost a dusky green on its back.
Wide at the head, about fifteen feet across.
Ans
id you see its eye?
Quest:Wait I'll go look!?
Ans:Oh no lady' don't go out on the fu*king dock, that thing will..........Oh well.......
Quest:It seems friendly now that's it eaten, well half of my husband at least.
It has an eye about the size of a soccer ball.
Ans:Oh crap.......I think what you've got in your pond mam, is a Megladoncarcarkadon, or giant prehistoric shark.
Quest:Well' are they dangerous?
Ans:Bit your husband in-two mam, wouldn't exactly call it a house or an aquarium pet, mam.
Ans:You had a question to ask here, are you done and if so would you rate my answer please?
Quest:My question has not been asked.I'll do that now.
I'm afraid that the government or someone will come in and take my husband away, since he was not killed by a normal creature.
I also, kind-of, like the shark, for some reason and don't want it hurt.
Ans:Hugh?
Quest:Well' I mean it was only doing what it did naturally and really didn't mean to bite my husband in-half.
I mean afterall, if left half of him on the beach, as I think that puddy felt guilty.
Ans
uddy......?
Quest:Yes Puddy, I've already named him............But there is the question of both security and insurance and the government confiscating him and me not getting anything in return.
What do I do in this forinstance, please?
Ans:Well' there is the CIA, which deals in intelligence, but they dont operate domestically, or are not supposed to at least.
Then there is the NSA, but they only deal with domestic threats to internal security.
There is the Homeland Security, but do you think that this shark is an international terrorist?
Quest:No, he does not look to be of foreign extraction, or associated with Al Quida.
Ans:There is the DIA,.....NRO,....the SCPCA.Mmmm, I would say the FBI mam.
Quest:Oh' then I'll call the FBI.
Ans:Before you go, I would try to have them cut you a deal, as you don't want this hitting the press, as it would hurt the tourist industry.They just might take the shark and what is left of your husband and not give you anything?
Quest:Oh?
Ans:Here's what you do, call them and say that a loved on had died of alien-like circumstances, but want to see if you can barrow in the economic sense, so that they will give your husband and alternate ending.
This way you get the insurance claim and what's coming to you, but the shark might have to go, however this will look as if it were an accident.
Quest:But it was an accident and I don't thing Puddy really meant to.....
Ans:Keep calm, for the time being, I know this guy in west Hollywood and he makes fiberglass replicates, for people; if you can get him a copy of the person that you want a fiberglass copy made of.
Quest:Why do this?
Ans:So that you can time the accident........With a replicant, you can drive around with you husband, so that everyone will think that he's still alive.
Quest:Well if he does not move or something, won't that look kind-of suspicious?
Ans:No, my friend had replications that even waive and smile.
Quest:Oh,........that's different?
Ans:The body now, where is it mam?
Quest:Well it's down by the beach, in a Super-strength Trash can liner.
Ans:Okay' here is what you do, you back you truck; have a truck?
Quest:Yes I we have a pickup.
Ans
own to the body and lift it in using nylon ropes and then put it in your freezer.
Then call the special investigations division of the FBI and say to them, to confidentially come to you house, as you husband was killed by an unusual creature, but you want to know if you can bargain the worth of the creature, so that they can give your husband an alternate ending?
Quest:Okay I think I've got it and thank you so much!
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Questioner gives rateing of ***** and a /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif
PRESS RELEASE, UPI:A Clearwater man was found today in shallow water, as the result of his private small engined plane, malfunctioning on takeoff.
The FAA authorities were notified and an investigation into the nature of this crash will be conducted pending notification of next of kin.
PRESS RELEASE, CLEARWATER FLA: A heated argument broke out Tuesday, over claims that a number of small dogs and water fowl are showing up missing.
The area of concern is a small dredged personal harbor owned by a late businessman, who had died as a result of a private aircraft mishap.
Local officials had to detain a local resident, who attired in hair curlers, and a bathrobe, shouting at the in-question estate, yelling at the top of her voice, "I've seen her go to the water and pet that great black monster.
I know that beast ate my Fluffy and many others like it.....The government is in on this, I just know it.
