Kevin and the Bermuda Triangle

M

MildSkeptic

Chrono Cadet
In reference to this.

INCIPIT LIBER PRIMUS

Kevin was a young, happy giraffe. UNTIL British slave traders (high on imported opium) mistook him for a black man and took him to Bermuda. After escaping from the galleon, he fell through a time warp and landed in the sitting room of Earhart Manor, where he watched a special on the Sci-Fi channel that inspired him to team up with a young webmaster named Anoit2020 (who had also seen the show) and fight the Dalek threat to our timeline. Remembering the words of Douglas Adams, he told Anoint2020 to wait up while he went to Florida to get a towel. The time warp to 1990's Florida was malfunctioning, so he became a small plastic toy on sale at a surf shack. After being buried in the sand, he was beamed up to a Morlock-hijacked X-Jet. This was too much excitement for him, so he retired to Florida, where, to this day, Anoint2020 seeks him out, trying to learn the secrets of....
*eerie theremin plays*
...the Musgrave Ritual

EXPLICIT LIBER PRIMUS
 
Alright, Mister! /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif
INCIPIT LIBER PRIMUS
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You've already got me ROTFLMAO, I can't see ANY way that my lame-a$$ humor can top this!

New/Improved RMT, now less fishy-smelling!
 
Hold on just one Skaaran-bootin' rootin' tootin' minute

The boy Chronohistorian's real name is KEVIN SMITH

Are you suggesting that NOT ONLY is Chrono a known shagger of Lizard Men he is also a PLASTIC GIRAFFE???

Oh God's death it just gets WORSE

DAVEchrono
 
Are you suggesting that NOT ONLY is Chrono a known shagger of Lizard Men he is also a PLASTIC GIRAFFE???
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This investigation does seem to be taking a sinister turn, doesn't it? I keep wondering when the dead bodies are going to start showing up... it has all the forensic earmarks for going in that direction! /ttiforum/images/graemlins/ooo.gif

Ahhhhh, whatever!
 
This just in to the news desk....

Kevin the Plastic Giraffe (AKA Super-Prime co-President Of The United States Of Oceania 2652 CE) was recently observed on surveillance camera trying to knock off a convenience store in Vero Beach, Florida. He wasn't asking for money, but instead was demanding that all forms of cake in the local vicinity be brought to a rendezvous point of his choosing. He fled on foot, but officials are confident that his long neck and obvious plastic construction will make it hard for him to blend-into crowds.

Police have issued an All Points Bulletin (APB) for Kevin's arrest. More details as they become available.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled RMT.
 
He fled on foot, but officials are confident that his long neck and obvious plastic construction will make it hard for him to blend-into crowds.
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Oh man...the mother f**k*ng "Five-O" don't know the fire with which they play! Have they read his file yet! did they even know he had one /ttiforum/images/graemlins/ooo.gif?!

*reads from file* Let me fill you in;

This is no ordinary plastic Giraffe. After his temporal experience something happened to him. He was hunted down, recruited and trained by MI5 in field operation tactics since he was 4 years old. He graduated 1st in his division and spent 5 years extensive military training with the US Deta-Force. He can blend into the shadows quicker than God could!!

He does not feel fear. He Is an expert in all known explosive and fire arms protocol. Speaks 12 languages and is trained in 7 froms of close range knife/unarmed combat styles. He is a master of animal impersonations - especially when he pretends to be a yellow horse with a long neck. He can mover faster then a hurricane and disappear like a freak gust of wind. This guy could shove a grenade up your arse before you even realised that, indeed, a giant Palstic giraffe was stood behind you undoing your trousers.

In short - he is your worst Nightmare.

Only dead men walking - underestimate this Giraffe.
 
Ahhhhh, frick man.... No one likes having to go "active" on a weekend they were promised TIME off! /ttiforum/images/graemlins/mad.gif

(RMT is back in the corner with Smith & Wesson having a quiet discussion about the Kevin situation!)
 
This just in:

Time stopped (just now) for everyone except Kevin. It is widely speculated that this is because Time was recieveing bribes from a Republican senator / friend of Kevin's. Kevin experienced 5 JILLION years while fighting his way through 5 JILLION fallen seraphims (w/ the magical Keybalde), saving us all from nothing continuing to happen. The American government is considering amnesty, but there has been no word from Anoint2020 as to wether this means he will forgive Kevin for going to Florida in the first place.
 
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