JOKE: Clint Eastwood and Golf.

TheCigSmokingMan

TheCigSmokingMan

Rift Surfer
I'm thinking about comedy writing as well...

I do a great "Johnny Carson"... and not a bad Arnold Schwartenager....

CLINT EASTWOOD JOKE:

(You have to do the whispery tough guy voice... An impersonation joke.)

The Premise: You and Clint Eastwood go to play golf:

He says "You want to play golf?... Punk?... Do you feel lucky?..."

He follows "This is Big Bertha!... The world's most powerful driver in the world!"

He goes on "It will drive a ball CLEAN ON to the green."



AHNOLD SCHWARNTER JOKE:

A flash back joke:

Ahnold is promoting his movies "Last Action Hero"... (Another impersonation joke.)
(You have to the standard BAD ENGLISH VOCABULARY of Mr. Scwhartzenager.)

The PREMISE:

Ahnold is being interviewed by one of the entertainment shows or Jay Leno.

Ahnold says "Do not go see Jurassic Park... Go see Last Action Hero..."

Ahnold follows "Steven Speilberg is A GIRLIE MAN."

Ahnold goes on "He plays with little plastic dinos..."



So what do you think? Quit my "day job"? Comedy? Or Screen writing? (While film treatments)

TheCigMan
 
cigman, you are dryer than salted sand...

eastwood needs a monkey and a fight, then its a good joke.


aaahnuld needs a pair of skis, a cast on his leg, and an entire humvee full of steroids to even get a chuckle. on the other hand, if you throw him in a hawaiian luau and give him a strawberry daquari, (just one!) then he is the greatest comedian on the face of the planet.

"cawm auhn gulls. de ahhhnulds beeg pecs ahhhwr flexing! aaaaahahahaha!"

oh yeah, and stevie nicks has to be on the jukebox for maximum effect. :D
 
i take that back. just put arnolds face on the t.v. laughing. it will get the highest ratings ever. because for some reason seeing arnold laugh makes you laugh uncontrollably.
 
Ruthless,

I think Conan O'Briens TV Guest Monitor AHNOLD is the best. The Martha bit is funny too but I don't think she is that 'evil' /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif


TheCigMan
 
martha stewart is pure evil! she is a illuminati cyborg that lulls you to sleep with promises of botanical beauty. but beware! thats not really mango in the mango!
 
Ruthless,

Thanks for the warning... However, Ms. Stewart's OCD though hidden by being a HOMEMAKING PERFECTIONIST is something to be explored psychologically speaking...

She turned a disability in a BILLION DOLLAR EMPIRE...


It's a good thing,

TheCigMan
 
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