You dont change your life 7 years ago. You change your life, today!
I dont know what you mean by you got sick.
What we are on the outside and what happens inside is an indirect reflection of our internal thoughts, perhaps thoughts that you aren't even aware of.
These internalized thoughts can be created many, many years ago in your life. Specific conditions, such as being bullied, may have resulted in the materialization of your frustrations with this sickness.
I am NOT a medical doctor, so anything I tell you is never advice against a medical professional.
However, alot is not understood by the medical world regarding how our "spirit" interacts with the physical world. You obviously are in alot of pain. The news of the world effects you more than some other people.
You are a sensitive person, and empathize with the pain of the world, today. Fear, saddness, and frustration of NOT being to solve the worlds problems are a great escape for you. By putting your focus on the world, you may have found a great scape goat for your own "sickness".
It is ok to be concerned and feel what you feel, but as you have mentioned yourself, live for every moment with enjoyment. Even in your struggle, you are gaining knowledge or have the chance to learn "who" you really are and how "you" react to obstacles in "your" life.
Time travel isnt something you need be concerned with, but learning about who you really are is of the utmost importance.
When we face the ourselves and the world we see through our thoughts, we also find escape routes to run away from "who" we are within, to "run away" from the obstacles we encounter.
There is no way I can "fix" you in this forum, but, nobody can "fix" you, but "you" anyway. Even if you did travel back in time, the same problems you have today, would exist. They wont magically vanish.
I have stressed time and again about accepting personal responsibility...to look within for solutions.
You see, my friend, no matter what, you are a very important person in this moment in time. There is no other you. You are unique, special. Everyone may not see this, or even point this out, but it is the truth.
I dont know you, we will never meet, but, do I "LOVE" you as a brother, and care about you... you betcha! /ttiforum/images/graemlins/smile.gif
You are not alone. As we share our time on this Earth, we have a common bond that no one will ever be able to erase. A connection, if you will, that is intact regardless of distance or any obstacles between us.
I sense you are feeling sorry for yourself...stop it! If you are able, and it is YOU who make this decision...do as suggested.
Go down to the hospital and volunteer to read some children a story.
Thats all...dont elaborate or sit there and speak of the problems of the world or even your own...just read them a story...er...an appropriate one, like Willie Wonka or something. I am sure a blind child is waiting to hear that story, and you are the one that is going to do it.
Dont need advanced computers or magical formulas to do this...
....the magic and power is within you by stepping out the door and doing it. Simple as that.
Let me know how you feel after you have done this...
...deal?